Is It True that Christianity is About Being Perfect?
No? Then What is it About?
Many churches are wonderfully loving and accepting of everyone. That’s what I experienced when I first walked into St. Michael and All Angels Episcopal Church. There was no hidden agenda in the atmosphere that whispered in your ear when you least expected it – a hidden agenda that said, “But watch out, because you never know who hasn’t REALLY followed the 10 Commandments. You never know who isn’t perfect. Maybe it’s you.” A welcome from a place like that is reserved, at best. Even when they’re teaching that God is love and that he forgives.
Don’t get me wrong. I grew up in a wonderfully loving church and in a wonderfully loving family. I don’t remember not knowing that Jesus loves me. That God loves me. And that my Daddy loves me. So, when I walked into St. Michael’s that day as a young adult, I was surprised to learn that I was accepted fully and completely, just as I was. I didn’t have to somehow reach perfection before full acceptance. The contrast was what made me aware that my earlier experience, even though seemingly happy, was less than whatever this was.
When we are fully accepted exactly the way we are in exactly, precisely this moment, and every moment, we begin to understand the goodness of the loving God. The forever loving God who fully accepts us exactly the way we are in exactly, precisely this moment, and every moment, for our entire life.
When I experienced that kind of ongoing acceptance at St. Michael’s, I was suddenly free – free of the burden of being perfect. I was accepted and forgiven and loved. Let me say that again so that maybe it will sink in. I was accepted and forgiven and loved! Because they knew God who is love. They knew that they were accepted and forgiven and loved. And I was free! Free to love them, and to love God in ever deeper and deeper ways. It wasn’t about perfection. It was about faithfulness and authenticity. That’s the way church is supposed to be. A community of genuine companionship and acceptance, loving and serving the God who loves us that way, serving Him with gladness and joy.
Now, picture this: Suppose there’s a particular church member who believes that the church she attends is like that. And all is going along swimmingly well, until...until the new pastor arrives on the block. A new pastor who believes that God’s authority resides in him, and he has the view that everyone on staff needs to offer their resignation, so that he can re-hire them under his authority. Well, if that’s not enough of a bombshell, then what if he sweeps in and actually fires one or more of the faithful members who have happily served on staff for many years.
I’ve seen it happen. That particular kind of abuse didn’t happen to me. But I personally know of three faithful and gifted people (three different churches) who were fired. I’ve seen their hurt and bewilderment, their disbelief and shock, their anger and feeling of utter disrespect. And then comes the awkwardness of knowing they can’t be at that church – (their beloved church) – any more.
They’ve not only lost their job and income, they’ve lost their community, and so they feel isolated, like they’ve been cast into exile. The loneliness is poignant. The wound is deep. Their pain is one of the reasons I write this blog. The spiritual abuse that happened to me was different, but the wound is the same. In my journey toward healing, I have felt and still feel the call to reach out to people who’ve been wounded in their faith community, to walk with them, so that they know there is someone who fully accepts them and loves them exactly the way they are in exactly, precisely this moment, and every moment. And then maybe, just maybe both of us will become aware of the forever loving God who fully accepts us exactly the way we are in exactly, precisely this moment, and every moment, for our entire life. It’s called GRACE. The Grace of God will reside in our hearts, flowing toward him and each other.
By the way, did you know that God loves you in exactly, precisely that way, for all of eternity? His grace and love flows to you, and you, and you.