Can You Identify In Which Part of You Your Spiritual Wound “Lives?”
Is it Mainly in Your Spirit, Soul, or Body?
Today I write about a thought process that has helped me on more than one occasion when processing trauma of any kind, and especially the wounds that can occur by abuse in a church. So, here’s my thought process:
The Foundation of my Reflections is this: St Paul wrote in one place that we are a temple of the Holy Spirit, and in another place, that our being consists of spirit, soul, and body. I have reflected on those two statements for most of my adult life, and have read various authors about those Scriptures, and this is what I’ve received in my heart and mind as a result:
The Jewish Temple had three main “rooms” or areas: the Outer Court (where anyone could enter); the Holy Place (where only the Jewish priests could enter); and the Holy of Holies (where only the High Priest could enter on only the Day of Atonement). If St. Paul is correct (and I believe he is), we are made of three “rooms,” areas, or “substances:” Spirit, Soul, Body = our Temple.
Notice that this three-fold list of our “rooms” separates the words “spirit” and “soul” as though they’re two different things. I have heard some people use those two words interchangeably as though they’re the same thing. I have come to completely believe that they are not the same thing at all.
Our Body: houses all of our physiological systems – internal organs, muscles, skeletons, digestive tract, etc. You and I can see and touch each other and have conversations and physical relationships with each other. Our Body could be likened to the Outer Court of the Temple.
Our Soul: Our Soul is not physical. It’s less tangible than our body, even though we can sometimes sense aspects of each other’s soul by observing each other. Our Soul somehow lies a bit deeper in than our Body. After reading the many authors that I’ve reflected on, I’ve come to believe that our Soul houses our emotions and feelings, our reflecting and thinking, and our discerning, deciding, and doing. And it’s a very much alive “Holy Place.”
Our Spirit: Our Spirit lies deepest within. It houses our breath, our intuition, our conscience, and our inner most place of prayer. Our Spirit is our “Holy of Holies.” It’s the primary place within where we can sense the presence of God.
What does all that have to do with dealing with trauma? It helps me to ask myself which part of me has been stressed or wounded. Does the stress seem to be mainly physical? Like a really good walk would help everything calm down?
In the case of being hurt by someone in the church, where is the main part of us that feels the wound?
Is it in some part of the soul as defined above? Is the wound in your Holy Place? Do you feel it mainly in your emotions? Has the trauma adversely changed the way your think about the church, or God, or pastors? Has it created a sense of either not knowing what to do in response or knowing for sure that you want to lash out with a strong emotion?
Or is the term “spiritual abuse” really calling it like it is, because the wound goes all the way in, to the most holy of places of who you are? Spiritual abuse can actually cause deep shock, during which we can’t feel any emotion. We can’t pray. It’s as though our spirit has “numbed out.” When our Holy of Holies is numbed out, all that is in our Soul is also not available to us.
It helps me to identify where my hurt is coming from. Then I can minister to myself. And I know how to pray. I know how to explain more accurately to my spiritual director what’s happening interiorly.
I know that I talk a lot about Dr. Brené Brown’s work. Her “10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living” has everything to do about our Soul and our Spirit, in the ways that I have defined them. And because we are traumatized, our body is also adversely affected. From time to time I will continue to write about “Wholeheared Living.”
Spiritual abuse is ghastly. We are made in the image of God, the Three in One, One in Three. Scripture tells us that we are holy because He is Holy. Do you think it’s possible for, even while the hurt is still strong, for us to pray to be kind, respectful, and loving. And to pray for your church, for the love of Christ to truly be evident in its members and its pastor. And maybe, just maybe, we might begin one day, to sense one or another of the fruits of the Spirit in our journey toward healing.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23