A Symptom of Spiritual Abuse
A Feeling of Disorientation and Off-Balance
Spiritual abuse in faith communities causes many symptoms in those who are on the receiving end. Not all spiritual abuse survivors experience all of the symptoms, thank goodness. But we can experience a cluster of them.
Today I want to write about the symptom of feeling disoriented and off-balance. Here, our faith in God and our faith in church and in the goodness of people have been our mainstay. That faith has seemed like it’s our bedrock that nothing can damage.
But then comes the shock – learning that not everyone in church qualifies for our category of “goodness of people.” The perpetrator could have been the pastor, or it could have been lay people who have been given some kind of authority. If we’ve been naive in our belief that the church is perfect, and now we know it isn’t, that shock can profoundly set us back in what we had believed.
It can actually make us feel disoriented and off-balance for days and days, perhaps weeks and weeks, or months and months. In this state, our emotions are in a mess. Those emotions could include confusion, anxiety, bewilderement, disrespected, mortified, insulted, outraged, betrayed, isolated, broken-hearted, grieving, appalled, excluded, sickened…
Well, do I need to continue? It’s no wonder we feel disoriented and off-balance. Did you experience that symptom when you were spiritually abused?
I have another question for you: In what part of our being do you suppose all those swirling emotions inhabit? Is the swirling mainly in our spirit? In our soul? In our body? Of course such trauma layers stress upon stress in our physical body. But our soul that is more intangible within us is also affected. In fact, I believe that’s where our emotions are – in our soul.
What do you suppose “lives” in our spirit, in the deepest part of us, the place where God’s Holy Spirit breathes in us? Again, I believe our conscience lives there. So does our intuition. So does our inmost place of prayer.
You are free to disagree with me, of course. But indulge me for a minute and visualize what I just said about our spirit, soul, and body. And I ask again, “Where in our being do you suppose all those swirling emotions inhabit?
Do you think the “swirling” disorientation and sensation of being off balance affects all three? Hmmm….